the dead clawing their way from the grave
Nov. 10th, 2022 07:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
victorienThe last time I engaged with a personal journal site was approximately 2012, or the end of 2011.
I had a falling out, destructive and mutually painful, and I couldn't go near livejournal or think about returning for very many years without a creeping dread in my stomach and fear of reliving painful memories. And with the LJ buyout years ago, I finally nuked my account there.
(_____, I truly hope you're well, that you've healed. I am sorry. I do not ask the same thoughts for me.)
I need to divorce some/this part of my life from the rest. I do not wish everything to be so openly connected online. I cannot. After years of Twitter, I've forgotten how to write long-form outside of prose. I've forgotten what it's like to sit with my thoughts, let alone write them down.
This username is a callback to my original journal. Maybe it will unlock that part of me that remembers how to interact with a slower form of social media. Hindsight is a bitch, ain't it?
Do you know how frustrating it is? To have thoughts that end with a character-limit, confining them into small snippets? To feel like an infant when it comes to expressing myself? Ironically, the LJ-to-Twitter move was because my friends on LJ decided to go. So I followed. I've never liked to feel left out; I had too much of it in the years that are supposed to shape you.
I'm not averse to adding friends from other sites, but I actually need to mix these worlds consciously. I knew linking my Cohost on my Twitter would have a follow or two from people I have seen in my notifications but do not know. And, speaking of: Cohost, already, feels like Tumblr-lite, without the fandom and things I enjoy about it. Yes, obviously, it's new; I've followed people through an interconnected grapevine when I recognize a name or search for "Cohost" limited to follows on Twitter. Just this frustrating and desperate attempt to keep things the same.
But it won't be the same. Not if Twitter finally kicks it, which, I think now, people are seeing the worst. I think it will survive, but will show the losing fight and blows it received from the Musk takeover.
I only parked a name on Cohost in case Twitter finally, definitively falls. Not being able to hide shared posts on the main page is an absolute nightmare, by the way. I just want to read what my friends post, not have content pushed to me. I have Tumblr for that. And I like Tumblr too much to want to replace it with a shadow.
Anyway. Regardless. I'll see if I can't make a habit of this.
ETA: how in the hell did I find/make friends on LJ
I had a falling out, destructive and mutually painful, and I couldn't go near livejournal or think about returning for very many years without a creeping dread in my stomach and fear of reliving painful memories. And with the LJ buyout years ago, I finally nuked my account there.
(_____, I truly hope you're well, that you've healed. I am sorry. I do not ask the same thoughts for me.)
I need to divorce some/this part of my life from the rest. I do not wish everything to be so openly connected online. I cannot. After years of Twitter, I've forgotten how to write long-form outside of prose. I've forgotten what it's like to sit with my thoughts, let alone write them down.
This username is a callback to my original journal. Maybe it will unlock that part of me that remembers how to interact with a slower form of social media. Hindsight is a bitch, ain't it?
Do you know how frustrating it is? To have thoughts that end with a character-limit, confining them into small snippets? To feel like an infant when it comes to expressing myself? Ironically, the LJ-to-Twitter move was because my friends on LJ decided to go. So I followed. I've never liked to feel left out; I had too much of it in the years that are supposed to shape you.
I'm not averse to adding friends from other sites, but I actually need to mix these worlds consciously. I knew linking my Cohost on my Twitter would have a follow or two from people I have seen in my notifications but do not know. And, speaking of: Cohost, already, feels like Tumblr-lite, without the fandom and things I enjoy about it. Yes, obviously, it's new; I've followed people through an interconnected grapevine when I recognize a name or search for "Cohost" limited to follows on Twitter. Just this frustrating and desperate attempt to keep things the same.
But it won't be the same. Not if Twitter finally kicks it, which, I think now, people are seeing the worst. I think it will survive, but will show the losing fight and blows it received from the Musk takeover.
I only parked a name on Cohost in case Twitter finally, definitively falls. Not being able to hide shared posts on the main page is an absolute nightmare, by the way. I just want to read what my friends post, not have content pushed to me. I have Tumblr for that. And I like Tumblr too much to want to replace it with a shadow.
Anyway. Regardless. I'll see if I can't make a habit of this.
ETA: how in the hell did I find/make friends on LJ
no subject
Date: 2022-11-12 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-11-13 02:06 am (UTC)